The Great Shinobi Competions!
by Akatsuki Chef
Summary: Tobi signs the Akatsuki up for the Great Shinobi Competions! With no choice, they must compete against every nation in the Naruto world!
1. Tobi is Stupid!

**Hi peoples! Time for a new story!! I just got my tetanus shot and my arm feels like a noodle... I haven't gotten a needle in me for a LONG time. I stay inside all the time, so I don't really get sick... I might have told some(or one...) of you what I was going to write next... Well, I changed my mind.**

**So here it is, The Great Shinobi Competitions!!**

It was rather quiet in the Akatsuki hideout, which is normal on a Saturday. Everyone was quiet was relaxing, all except Tobi, who was missing and obviously no one noticed.

That is, until they realized that they were able to relax without Tobi running around.

Kakuzu looked up from his book,

"Hey, it's quiet..."

Hidan looked at him and smirked,

"Well, duh."

"No, no, no. Normally, Tobi's running around screaming something stupid."

"Hey, you're right... Where's Tobi, Deidara, Zetsu?"

"I dunno, un."

"Hmmm... **Neither have we.**"

Almost on cue, Tobi came running in the living room,

"EVRYONE!! TOBI ENTERED US IN A COMPETION!!"

Everyone did not like the sound of that,

"What kind?"

"AN OLYMPICS OF SORT!!"

Hidan jumped back,

"No freaky old people talk!! Seriously, dude, talk up to date."

Tobi stopped and looked at Kakuzu.

Kakuzu sighed,

"We compete in athletics."

Hidan looked confused, (on purpose)

"Athletics?"

Kakuzu sighed.

Pein was sitting in his office, but upon hearing what Tobi screamed, walked into the living room,

"What is he talking about?'

He asked, pointing at Tobi.

"TOBI HAS SIGNED THE AKATSUKI UP FOR THE SHINOBI COMPETIONS!!"

YOU _WHAT?!?_"

Tobi flinched,

"Tobi thought it would be fun..."

"NO! BAD TOBI!!"

Tobi ran off crying.

Pein looked at Kakuzu,

"What are the Great Shinobi Competions?"

Kakuzu frowned,

"Well either way, we have to go, once you enter, there's no backing out."

Pein walked over to the wall, seeming to examine it.

Hidan leaned toward Kakuzu,

"I think he finally cracked."

Then Pein began to bang his head on the wall,

"STUPID TOBI!!! WHYYYY!?!"

Hidan then let out an "Ooohhhh..."

Kakuzu frowned,

So what are we going to do, Leader-sama?"

Pein turned around and the lights went low, making everyone look around,

"We have no other choice, we shall compete."

So it begins, the competitions!

**Alright folks! Lemme know how ya like it!!**


	2. Entry!

**Hi peoples! Um, at first I didn't think anyone saw this, then I checked the traffic and... No one reviewed! I WANT YOU TO REVIEW!! No matter what, constructive critism ar good reviews. JUST NO FLAMES!!! Ok my arm is better... and all... well I don't have much else to say.**

Pein had called a meeting, to tell the rest what they were going to do,

"OK! Tobi, in all his stupidity, has signed us up for the Great Shinobi Competions. We will be a village called the Akatsuki (well obviously) and we will be going against other villages. Do all of you agree?"

"Yeah, un."

"I don't know... I want to swim..."

"TOBI'S A STUPID GOOD BOY!!"

"D*mn Tobi."

"Shut up, Hidan. Yes, Leader-sama."

"Sure... Wait, what? I wasn't really listening..."

Pein sighed at his responses, some didn't even look at him,

"Well it doesn't matter!"

"What doesn't matter?"

Itachi asked, obviously, he wasn't paying attention.

"WELL YOU'LL JUST BE CLUELESS, MR. MY-NAILS-ARE-MORE-IMPORTANT!!"

"Ok."

Pein smacked his forehead.

Hidan smirked,

"Dude, that much head trauma must give you at least _some_ brain-damage."

Pein sighed,

"Well, let's prepare..."

* * *

They arrived in Konoha, ready to compete in whatever was thrown at them and signed up. **(A/N: that sentence didn't come out right... x")**

The voice on the loud speaker boomed,

"ALRIGHT FOLKS!! THE FIRST COMPETITION WILL BE NO-RULES-DODGEBALL!!"

What? Dodgeball?

Well this was going to be easy, no rules... heh...

**Ok folks! This was a short chapter... sorry. I just wanted each competition to be a seperate chapter soooo... please R&R!**


	3. Dodgeball Plus Ninja Skills!

**Ok folks! Hopefully, this chapter will be longer... I seriously think they put something weird in that shot....the muscles in that arm are totally swollen.... it looks really muscular! heh... either that or I have some allergy (that's what my mom says...)**

**Well here it is, Chapter 3, Dodgeball Plus Ninja Skills... Uh Oh.**

They all went to the field where dodgeball was to be held, their first match would be Akatsuki Vs. Konoha.

They were acting a bit cocky, this should be easy, since in this dodgeball, there is no cheating.

The voice on the loudspeaker boomed,

"ALLLLRIGHT!! THIS FIRST MATCH WILL BE AKATSUKI VS. KONOHA!! NOW IS IT JUST ME OR DOES THAT ALBINO NOT REALLY LOOK LIKE A NINJA?"

Kakuzu snorted at this.

"I'll be right back."

Hidan mumbled.

He walked towards the box that the voice was coming from.

There was a loud scream and then Hidan's voice,

"Due to technical difficulties, we will have to get a new... um... commenter...?"

Kakuzu laughed again.

Hidan returned to the group with a smirk on his face.

"What did you do, besides make a fool of yourself?"

Kakuzu asked.

"I got a new whatever-it's-called."

Then a very cute, feminine voice spoke up,

"Ok! Are you ready to play some dodgeball?"

Kakuzu smacked his forehead.

Then, most of Konoha entered, this upset the Akatsuki, they were, as Hidan said, " Going 10 on... 1, 2, 3, 4... ALOT!"

"Yes, but you're forgetting some of our abilities, genius."

Kakuzu said smirking.

The girly voice spoke up.

"Ready," some dodgeballs fell on the line, "Set.... GOO!! Heehee!"

Kakuzu rolled his eyes.

The first one to grab a ball was Kiba, he threw it, full force, at Hidan, who flipped and whacked it back with his pike. The ball then flew towards Hinata who screamed and hit it with gentle fist, it then flew towards Kakuzu, who let out a few strings and caught it, making Hinata out.

Now Kiba was angry, "YOU'LL PAY FOR THAT!!!"

He and Akamaru (Yes Akamaru) started throwing balls rapidly at Kakuzu, who easily dodged them all and returned them alot quicker. At first only one hit Kiba, it was so close, it was hard to tell whether it hit him or not.

"Ha! You missed!"

Balls then started flying and hitting him rapidly.

"ALRIGHT, I'M OUT!!"

Then Gai grabbed a ball and aimed at Kisame (go fig.) Kisame whipped out Samehada and hit it like a baseball. Itachi was just standing there and balls flew around him (Uchiha magic!)

Konan wasn't even being thrown at, obviously frustrating her. She made giant paper airplanes and started putting dodgeballs on them and the planes flew to the other side and dropped balls on everyone.

The Akatsuki had won.

The girl spoke again,

"Alright! YAY!! The Akatsuki won!! Next, they will go against Suna! Teehee!! I'll be cheering for you, Hidan-chan!"

Kakuzu looked at Hidan.

"What? I have my ways..."

Hidan smiled.

Now ALL of Suna entered.

"OK! Let's begin the game! Hee!"

Konan didn't want to be left out again so she grabbed a ball and threw at Baki, who wasn't ready and was hit out. Kakuzu picked up all the balls, using his strings, and threw them at everyone, some managed to dodge but most of them were hit. Kankuro picked up a ball and threw it at Tobi, who was dancing like an idiot and by doing that, he managed to dodge everything thrown at him.

Itachi was ordering Kisame around, "THROW!! DODGE!!"

Hidan was having fun, flipping and jumping around.

There was only one Sand Shinobi left and I'm pretty sure you can guess who, Gaara.

Hidan tried launching multiple balls at once at him but Gaara's sand caught it and threw them back. Kakuzu released he masks and each of them added an element to the balls and threw them a Gaara. He managed to dodged them all, then the water one flew at him. It penetrated his shield and hit him.

The Akatsuki won again.

This went on, the Akatsuki won against every village.

The girl spoke again,

"The Akatsuki has won in dodgeball against the Leaf, Sand, Waterfall, Hot Springs, Grass, Rain, Mist and Rock village. Hee! Next is... um... It says surprises. Oh well. Hee hee!"

What did surprises mean? Well it would have to wait, they were tired an hungry.

**OOOH! I'm going to enjoy the next chapter! THAT'S RIGHT!! I know what it's going to be! Well, bye guys!**


	4. Jiraiya's Challenge!

**Ok... I left you curious as to what was going to happen next didn't I? Well I'M NOT GOING TO TELL YOU YET!!! You have to read it.**

**In case you're wondering what Hidan did in the commenter's box (or whatever it's called...) He Sacrificed the Dude and paid a hot chic alot of (Kakuzu's) money to comment and compliment. Ok...**

**Chapter 4, Jiraiya's Challenge!!**

It was break time, they were told the next challenge would not be as tiring.

They all sat there, with some tea, talking among themselves, until Jiraiya walked in.

"Ok! I am here to tell you the challenge here! It has been chosen by yours truly-"

Tobi looked confused, "Who is Yours Truly? Is she a girl?"

Jiraiya stared at him, "Well anyway... The challenge will be A SEXY JUTSU COMPETION AND FASHION SHOW!!"

...

There was a long silence as the Akatsuki stared at the old perv.

Finally, Hidan spoke up, "What? Why?"

"Because I said so."

"Dude, you remind me of my mom... Not the pervy part, the bossy part."

Kakuzu hit Hidan on the back of his head.

Jiraiya grinned oddly, "It's not like you have a choice."

He left.

Pein frowned, "Kakuzu, what happens if we back out?"

Kakuzu looked at Pein,

"Death. Or torture until death... Your choice."

Kakuzu shrugged.

They all stared at him, how could he say that so casually? Well, maybe being a 91 year-old ninja who has probably seen it all might have something to do with it.

"What?"

Kakuzu asked.

* * *

They entered the stadium where the competitions were to be held... there was a catwalk down the middle and a judges table. At the table were Naruto, Jiraiya and Konahamaru, the Sexy Jutsu pros.

Pein looked at the rest of the Akatsuki, "Are you ready?"

the answers were mingled,

"I guess..."

"HECK YEAH!!"

"I'm sexy enough."

"No, not really..."

"I'm hungry."

Pein's ear twitched at the last comment, "You're always hungry Zetsu."

"Oh..."

"Are you ready to go?!?" the girly voice boomed, "No? WELL TOO BAD!! LET'S RUMBLE!!"

Everyone was rather shocked at the sudden change in her voice AND personality.

"Did you not hear me? I _said_, 'LET'S RUMBLE!!'"

And so it began.

The lights changed, music started playing and Jiraiya spoke up, "ALLLLRRRIIIGHT!! UP FIRST WE HAVE... ITACHI!!!

A rather gorgeous girl walked down the catwalk.

Now this judging was like America's got talent, those who didn't like it hit an X.

_Bing! _From Naruto.

_Bing!_ From Konohamaru.

_Errnt! _From Jiraiya.

Everyone looked at Jiraiya.

Jiraiya shrugged, "I don't like the wrinkles."

Itachi looked offended, then walked out.

Jiraiya smiled, "NEXT IS... GAARA!"

A red-headed girl with WAY too much mascara on walked down.

_Errnt! _Naruto.

_Errnt! _Konohamaru.

_Errnt! _Jiraiya.

Gaara pouted, flipped the long scarf he had on (in case your wondering, they're wearing clothes... y'know... for the younger audience.) and walked out.

"NEEEXT IS... TOBI!!"

A girl with a mask exactly like Tobi's... In fact... she looked JUST like Tobi except she had pigtails... that were short and spiky... wait...

"I'M SORRY TOBI BUT DRESSING UP AS A GIRL DOESN'T COUNT! YOU ARE DISQUALIFIED!!"

Tobi ran off crying.

"Um... NEXT ISSSSS... HIDAN!!"

A rather muscular girl walked down with spiky, neck-length silver hair and violet eyes.

_Bing! _Naruto

_Bing! _Konohamaru

_Bing! _Jiraiya

Hidan smirked and walked off.

"KAKUZU'S NEXT!!"

Jiraiya was SO ready to hit his X button... but... It seems Kakuzu changed the Sexy Jutsu...

A girl with chin-length, milk chocolate hair, chocolate milk colored skin and piercing green eyes walked down, no stitches and body figure perfect.

_Bing! Bingbingbingbiiiiinnnng!!! _Naruto.

_BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNG!! _Konohamaru

_BINGBINGBINGBINGBINGBINGBINGBING!!!! _Jiraiya.

"OK! I BELIEVE THERE'S NO MORE COMPETITION! AKATSUKI WINS!!"

The feminine Kakuzu looked a little shocked, he did NOT expect this.

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!"

Tobi, who was still dressed up as a girl, was screaming.

"ALRIGHT!! OUR NEXT COMPETITION WILL BE NO-RULES BASEBALL!!"

Baseball? Pshaw! Piece of cake!

**I bet you guys didn't expect that! I wanted to get this done quickly... but I got lazy... hmmmm... also... If you want to see pictures of sexy jutsu in my POV then I need to email it to you... since I don't have a dA.**


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